at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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