I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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