i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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