You're my little dorito
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
