He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
