is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize