yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
