You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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