I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
