is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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