How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
