bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
