ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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