well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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