her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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