those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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