Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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