i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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