soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize