Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
