I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
the day after is always just damage control
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
