do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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