You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
