You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
