it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
