never play flip cup with pint glasses
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
