apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
