And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
