My boss' voice literally gives me gas
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
