Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
