Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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