Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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