It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Just invented taco cereal.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
