Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
