I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
