Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize