you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
