do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
