I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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