wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize