Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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