i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
