we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
