He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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