I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
