So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
