You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize