1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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