i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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