At least make sure they are 18
Why
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
