Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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