I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
