She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
