just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
