all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
