I am in a vortex of obligation.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
