every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
