Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
