just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
