i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
