My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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