No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
