i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
