The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
and you fell through a lawn chair
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
