was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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