operation harelip BJ is a go
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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