i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
