If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
