sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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