But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize