Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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