I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
