My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
