thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
