Just fell off a train. Bad.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
