"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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