i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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