So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
