Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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