how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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