I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Girls should come with a carfax report
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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