i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
