Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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