I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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