i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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