She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
