No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
