i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize