Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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